Monday, July 23, 2007

I didn't forget.........

I didn't write a column last week...so I didn't put it on the blog, so in it's place here is a recent column....Thank you for asking...I am pleased as Punch!

June 22 2007 Christiansen's Comments Hinds County Gazette

I still do not know what kind of critters are eating my roses…I was rather suspecting the “Those wascally wabbits” but, my friend Emmy, who for years, has had an on going, and bless her heart, losing battle with deer, tells me that deer droppings and rabbit dropping are not dissimilar in appearance……CJ, he sits in the pew in front of us at church, confirmed it. So there we are then, the mystery continues.
I told you all I was going to make compost in garbage cans….sometime ago it became so heavy I could no longer turn it by myself, so I got grandson Garrett to help me….well that didn’t go so favorably…it was full of maggots and smelled bad….Real Bad!! Garrett declared he would not be helping with that chore again
. That was not supposed to happen….compost is supposed to have a fresh earthy odor.
So, I got back on the internet in an attempt to determine what went wrong. After a bit of studying, it became clear what the problem was my green matter, vegetable scraps, grass clippings and the like, and my brown matter, dried up leaves and the like, were out of whack…. I had too much green and not enough dry. Compost it seems is delicately balanced formula, and apparently the compost recipe must be strictly adhered to or suffer the consequences. So I added a bunch of brown matter I was then satisfied I had corrected the problem. ..
Well, daughter Angela came for the weekend, she comes regularly, to count cats and dogs and to make sure my bank account is in balance and I am not in the red. Angela is concerned that I might turn into some kind of squirrelly, peculiar old lady, now that her daddy is no longer here to keep me in check. So anyway, I drafted her to help turn the compost…It was not pretty…. not only did the compost smell BAD…And Perhaps because I did not drill enough holes in the garbage can it was juicy…so when the heavy mass of compost hit the bottom of the transfer can… it splashed up…. on her. She commenced to gagging, running and squealing….headed to the bath tub. She created such a ruckus that she frightened my dogs and shop cats, they went to scrambling every which way….. I wish you all could have seen the carrying on….it was a Grand Spectacle for sure.
Angela is such a prissy …she as far as I know, has only been dirty twice in her life. Even as a wee bitty child, however I sent her to school is the way she came home, no food stains, no pencil marks…she never ever even got snags in her leotards. I do not know how I could have raised such a wimp….The compost juice splashed on me too…I did not panic….I just went to the water spigot and sprayed myself off.
Bertha Rather in an email tells me Charles believes it is deer dinning on my roses. Dreaded deer!!
We need rain….I am amazed at how much green there still is considering how little rain we have gotten…we haven’t even had heavy dews of late.
I am off to putter in the back yard. Call if you need me…..

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